Today’s parents are bombarded with information on how to effectively parent their children. Numerous philosophies, strategies, and techniques can be overwhelming to the average person. Parental awareness and application is often dependent on the simplification of complex theories and practices.
Using the metaphor of four primary colors of red, green, yellow and blue is the first step to simplifying the process of identifying personality types. Color is easy to recall and easy to apply. Personality styles and communication styles can be summed up into the four colors. This metaphor can be applied to how a person can approach their parenting methodologies. The first step is for a parent to identify his/her primary and secondary color. (See FamilyIQ test, ‘Testing For Colors: Your Personality Quiz).
Once this is accomplished, you will have a deeper understanding and appreciation of what your valuable skill sets are and how you can best apply these values to your family. The second step is to identify the primary and secondary color of your child. This will give you the needed awareness to know how to best communicate in their language.
The Yellow Parent
Yellow parents bring many needed skills to the family and their children. Early in life all children have a great need to feel safe and secure. Yellow parents are intuitive at providing safety and security. They will make sure children are properly clothed, fed, housed, have appropriate social manners, financially cared for, and provide the needed structure to make sure their child feels totally safe and secure.
Communicating To A Yellow Child
*Yellow type children need to have guidelines and rules in order to flourish. By nature they are responsible children who want to please parents. Providing them with a list of things to do is one way of engagement. Letting them help you plan and organize family activities or chores is another proven strategy. Be specific in your communications with them. It is important to provide them timelines to complete tasks. By nature they are organized types and make great “little helpers”. Recognize them for the little things they do that makes your life and the family a better place.
The Green Parent
By nature green parents value learning and will promote all learning opportunities for their child. Reading is high on their list along with the discovery channel or history channel type television shows. Many times green parents will place high expectations on their children to succeed. Green parents value competency in themselves and others and may require it of their children as well. Striving for excellence is a good thing but taken to extremes this may not always be in the best interest of the child – especially if the child is not a primary green.
Communicating To A Green Child
For the most part, green children are independent thinkers and need to be treated as such. They communicate more indirectly due to the fact they are conceptual by nature. They are always asking the “why” questions and will continue to ask “why” throughout their adult life’s. Green children need to be given as much information as possible. They prefer to make their own choices as long as they have the needed information to make a well-informed decision. Green children will naturally be drawn to the sciences or investigative field. Their need for exploration and curiosity can be used to build greater relationships with them. They tend to think things through before they will give you how they “feel” about something. Communication that is logical and well thought out is best received by them.
The Red Parent
By nature, primary red parents tend to fly by the seat of their pants. They like to do things “their way” regardless of the rules. If yellow is last in their profile, they do not value order or structure which can be a real challenge when parenting. However, red parents are fun to be around. They will make all experiences worth doing. They tend to be “hands on” parents willing to take risk or try new things. They are creative types who tend to communicate directly. What you see is what you get. Cut to the chase and get to the bottom line is what red types prefer.
Communicating To Red Children
Red children will keep you moving. They are energetic types with great energy. Of all the personality types, they appreciate communication that is direct. Being short and concise will work best in your communications with them. Visual aids help in communication efforts. Charts, graphs and daily recognition are sure ways to get their attention. Red children are many times forgetful because they tend to be onto the next adventure before completing the prior one. Of the four colors they are most likely to display their feelings – good, bad or indifferent.
Blue Parent
These types of parents are very relational in their communication efforts. They were born for building rapport. Due to their intuitiveness, blue parents have the uncanny ability to develop empathy. Blue parents strive hard to bring about harmony in their families. They tend to avoid any conflict, which can be a challenge for them. Blue types are indirect communicators. They are sensitive to others feelings and many times choose to talk around issues instead of taking them directly on.
Communicating to Blue Children
When communicating to blue children you must be sensitive to their feelings. These children have a strong tendency to take things personally. Asking them how they feel or how you can specifically help are two sure ways to effective communications. Blues tend to hold onto things longer than they need to. They must process their feelings, which can be a process in and of itself.
Conclusion
It is important to remember that all of us have all of the colors working within our personalities at all times. As parents you I encourage you to initiate all of the color into your child’s daily life to ensure he/she is well-rounded. By doing this, you will increase your child’s emotional intelligence and provide the children with a jump-start for healthy communication.
See FamilyIQ‘s course, ‘Understanding Your Personality Profile.‘ and ‘Parenting Using Personality Profiles.‘ Take the FamilyIQ test, ‘Color Personality Test: What is Your Personality Type?'
Michael Swita holds a BS degree in Interpersonal Communication and a Masters Degree in Counseling and Educational Psychology. He has worked extensively with children, adolescents, and parents in both wilderness and community settings where he owned and operated his own Therapeutic Mentoring Service. He now provides seminars to organizations on maximizing communication skills.
